Started craving dim sum real bad after watching street food videos last Tuesday. Problem is, nearest decent place needs 45-minute drive plus parking nightmares. Said screw it, gonna try making my own haul at home this weekend.
The Grocery Hunt Disaster
First went to regular supermarket Friday night – total bust. Couldn’t find bamboo steamers anywhere. Rice flour aisle looked like raccoons raided it. Almost gave up when wife reminded me about Asian market downtown. Drove there Saturday morning with handwritten list:
- Wheat starch for crystal skins
- Lard for char siu buns
- Chive flowers for dumplings
Cashier laughed at my shaking hands when paying. Told me “good luck” in that tone meaning “you’ll need it”.
Kitchen Warzone
Cleared counter at 2PM. Mixed dough first – sticky disaster. Wheat starch powder poofed everywhere like snowstorm. Sneezing fit ruined batch #1. Redid with mask like pandemic flashback.
Pork filling smelled wrong. Forgot ginger. Chopped some while fighting food processor lid. Green onion bits stuck to ceiling somehow. Marinated char siu overnight but color looked pale. Dumped more red yeast rice powder like cheating on exam.
Steamer Nightmares
Thought stacking bamboo layers was smart move. Steam barely reached top tier. Bottom har gow cooked in 4 minutes while top ones stayed raw dough lumps. Swore loudly when whole tower wobbled. Water boiled over – now stove looks like pond.
Made siu mai freehand without mold. Looked like deflated baseballs. Wrapped some in wonton skins as backup. Half stuck to paper liners after steaming. Used butter knife to scrape them off – tore three perfectly good shrimp dumplings.
Sad Truth Hour
Tasted everything at 7PM. Char siu buns filling tasted legit but dough too thick. Crystal shrimp dumplings? Skins rubbery like bike tires. Only chive dumplings got thumbs up from kids – probably cause I pan-fried them crispy with chili oil.
Remembered back in college working at Golden Lotus. Weekday shifts we prepped 500 dumplings before noon. Old chef Wu could fold har gow one-handed blindfolded. Quit after semester cause tendonitis. Boss offered teach me recipes but young me thought “who needs skills?” Damn.
Leftovers & Lessons
Ate failed dim sum with sad beer dinner. Texted chef Wu’s daughter – she runs the place now. Sent me crusty paper recipe scanned from her dad’s notebook. Highlight says “STEAM OVER HIGH FLAME ONLY” in red.
Freezer stocked with ugly-but-edible creations. Takes triple the time and costs more than takeout. Still… tearing open first homemade bun felt better than any restaurant dish. Try again next month. Maybe buy premade wrappers like sane person.
