Alright folks, buckle up ’cause I actually tried this “40 Ways to Make Money Fast” thing last Tuesday when my car needed new tires. Started scrolling through that list feeling kinda hopeful but honestly? Most were straight garbage.
The Hunting Begins
First I hit “online surveys” – signed up on three sites they recommended. Spent two hours answering stupid questions like “Do you prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter?” Earned twelve cents total. Felt like getting paid in breadcrumbs.
Then I saw “collect scrap metal.” Drove around my neighborhood checking alleys. Found busted lawn chairs and rusty pipes in Mrs. Patterson’s dumpster. Hauled it all to the scrap yard sweating bullets – walked out with nine bucks. Enough for half a pizza maybe.
When Things Got Weird
Got desperate so tried “rent out your clothes.” Took pictures of my old band t-shirts thinking hipsters might dig ’em. Put ’em on that clothes sharing app. Some dude actually rented my Metallica shirt for $3/day… then returned it smelling like cheap beer.
My dumbest moment? “Get paid to queue.” Saw this ad offering $20 to wait in line for new sneakers. Showed up at 5am thinking easy cash. Stood there freezing until the mall cop told me the line started yesterday. Guy ahead of me had brought a damn sleeping bag.
What Actually Worked
Only three things made more than coffee money:
- Selling unused gift cards: Dug through junk drawer, found $25 Starbucks card from Christmas. Sold it instantly for $22 cash on CardCash
- Paid plasma donation: Felt lightheaded watching my blood go through tubes but walked out with $50 same day
- Gig apps: Did three Uber Eats deliveries during lunch rush. Made $27 plus some dude’s leftover fries when he canceled
Final Tally
After two full days grinding?
Total earned: $108.72
Self-respect lost: Priceless
Most “fast cash” ideas either pay pennies or need skills you don’t have yet. Better off delivering pizzas than chasing magic internet money schemes. If you’re really broke, hit plasma donation and spare your dignity.