Alright let’s talk dim sum and chopsticks. Tried figuring this out last Sunday at YumCha Palace. Total disaster at first, lemme tell you. Came hungry, left practically starving halfway through. Needed a plan.
The Prep Work Was Key
First things first, grabbed my trusty pair of chopsticks – the cheap wooden ones you snap apart. Realized I always grab them too far down the ends. Feels weird. Watched this old dude at the next table just casually pinching a siu mai like it was nothing. Copied him. Started holding them closer to where they actually meet. HUGE difference suddenly. Like driving a car from the back seat before.
Scoped out the spread: har gow (that shrimpy pink thing in clear wrap), char siu bao (fluffy bbq pork bun), cheung fun (slippery rice noodle roll), and the soup dumplings (Xiao Long Bao, they call ’em). Picked the har gow as my training dummy. Looks sturdy enough.
The Attack Phase (Failures Included)
Tried the textbook pinch everyone talks about. Pointed ends together, gentle squeeze. Went for the har gow. Aimed dead center, pressed the sticks… SPROING! The damn thing shot off the plate like a tiddlywink. Landed in my lap. Great start.
- Attempt 2: Went slower, tried stabbing it lightly first for grip. Mistake. Chopstick went right through the wrapper, shrimp paste squirted out. Looked like a crime scene.
- Attempt 3: Decided to embrace the stab. Jammed one stick kinda sideways into the pleated top. FINALLY GOT IT! Lifted it shaky as hell. Success tasted like slightly squished prawn.
Felt cocky. Moved onto the char siu bao. Big fluffy white bun. Poked it gently. Seemed solid. Went for a secure pinch… squished the whole top half flat. Pork filling oozed out. Now holding a deflated dough pancake. Facepalmed. Solution? Just fork-lifted the dang thing using both sticks flat under it. No shame. Got it to my plate in one soggy piece.
Scoring Some Wins
Cheung fun was up next. Thin, slippery rice noodle rolled around shrimp. Nightmare fuel. Saw the old dude technique again: he kinda rolled the sticks to wrap one noodle sheet around the filling. Tried it. Jammed one stick under the edge. Sorta rolled the bundle onto the other stick. Worked! Lost one shrimp but mostly got it dipped in soy sauce. Victory, kinda.
Saved the scary one for last: soup dumplings. You know, the juicy bombs. Everyone warns you. Didn’t trust my new “skills” here. Took the coward’s way out.
- Plopped the dumpling carefully into the soup spoon.
- Nibbled a tiny hole in the top with my teeth.
- Let the scalding lava broth pour into the spoon.
- Finally ate it with the spoon while the chopsticks stood by uselessly like overpriced bodyguards.
Maybe cheating? Tasted amazing. Zero explosions. Call it a win.
Wrap Up & Wisdom Earned (The Hard Way)
Left the place full, fingers sore, and way wiser than when I walked in. So-called “proper” technique only kinda worked on the har gow when I stabbed it. Everything else needed chaos theory applied.
- Har Gow: Stabbing Required. Pinch the pleats hard.
- Char Siu Bao: Use shovel mode. Forget pinching fluffy stuff.
- Cheung Fun: Roll it, don’t grab it. Requires weird wrist action.
- Soup Dumplings: Don’t be a hero, use the spoon. Chopstick assist optional.
Biggest lesson? Dim sum isn’t an exam. Nobody cares how you get it off the trolley and into your face hole, as long as it gets there. Mostly. If you drop it… five-second rule applies. Still tasted great. Might just bring a fork next time, fight me. Chopsticks practice continues, but for actual eating? Mix and match, folks. Mix and match.