Getting Started with Peanut Butter Madness
Had this serious cookie craving after lunch today, so I dug through my pantry to see what I could throw together fast. Found a half-empty jar of peanut butter and remembered that viral three-ingredient cookie hack everyone’s been talking about. Grabbed:
- That sketchy peanut butter jar lurking in the back
- Regular white sugar I use for coffee
- One sad-looking egg from the fridge
Mix & Mess Phase
Dumped one cup of peanut butter straight into this chipped mixing bowl – didn’t even bother measuring properly, just eyeballed it. Spoon got sticky immediately and peanut butter globs flew everywhere when I tried stirring. Cracked the egg right in there like I was making scrambled eggs, then poured sugar until it looked like beach sand mixed with mud. Stirred like crazy with a fork cause I couldn’t find the whisk. Ended up with this weird grainy paste that stuck to everything.
Shaping Disaster
Tried rolling dough balls between my palms – bad idea. Stuck to my fingers like superglue. Wiped hands on jeans and improvised: grabbed random spoon from sink, scopped blobs onto baking sheet. They looked like lumpy brown turds. Remembered that classic fork crisscross thing, but pressing down just made sticky pancakes. Fork tines collected half the dough. Said screw it and shoved the tray in the oven as-is.
Baking Panic
Set timer for 9 minutes like some blog said. Smelled burning at 7 minutes – scrambled to open the oven. Saw melted puddles bubbling like lava, edges turning black. Yanked them out fast, burned my wrist on the rack. Bottom looked like charcoal briquettes, tops looked raw. Dropped the tray hard on stovetop – three cookies slid off into the sink. Cussed loudly.
Final Edible-ish Result
Waited two minutes (couldn’t wait longer), tasted the least burnt one. Crunchy outside with weird gooey pockets that burned my tongue. Sugar crystals stuck in my teeth. Honestly? Still hit the craving. My partner walked in asking if the smoke alarm was busted while I’m chewing like a raccoon. Threw the ugliest ones away, kept the rest in plastic sandwich bags. Probably won’t win any baking contests but hey – took less than 30 minutes total and I didn’t poison anyone. Win?