So today I’m gonna share this quick weight loss journey I tried last month after seeing one of those “lose weight fast” articles everywhere. Honestly? Was kinda desperate. Felt sluggish after the holidays, clothes fitting tighter, you know how it is. Figured I’d test-drive those “7 easy steps” and see if they actually did squat. Spoiler: it was messy. Real messy.
Diving In Headfirst
Started with Step 1: Cutting all sugary drinks. Coke, juice, even my morning coffee with sugar? Gone. Swapped everything for water. Plain, boring water. First two days? Headaches hit me like a truck. Felt like crap. Seriously questioned my life choices while chugging my third liter of water before lunch.
Then came Step 2: Load up on protein. Eggs, chicken breast, a sad can of tuna… tried eating these at every meal. Felt like I was chewing cardboard by day three. Made a massive mistake: ate four hard-boiled eggs one morning thinking “more protein, better results.” Yeah… let’s just say my stomach was NOT happy later. Bad call. Majorly bad call.
The Middle Ground Disaster
Step 3 got weird: “Move more”. Obvious, right? Article said “just walk 10k steps daily.” Simple? Nope. Tracked steps like a maniac. Parked far away, took stairs, paced my living room at 10 PM trying to hit the magic number. Felt ridiculous. And sore. My ankles were screaming by day five.
Step 4 felt like a trap: Drink water before meals. Like, lots. Chugged a big glass 15 minutes before eating. Supposed to fill you up. Mostly it just made me feel like a water balloon about to pop. And rushing to the bathroom constantly mid-meal? Annoying as heck.
Step 5 was my breaking point: No eating after 7 PM. Hard stop. The first night? Fine. By night three? Lying awake at 9 PM staring at the ceiling, my stomach doing this low growl like it was plotting revenge. Cracked hard on night four around 8:45 PM and inhaled half a sleeve of crackers standing in the dark kitchen. Pure, raw hunger panic.
The Supposed Payoff (Kinda)
Step 6 was measuring food. Pulled out measuring cups and scales like some mad scientist. Tried portioning my oatmeal. Spilled flakes everywhere. Measured rice – it looked pitifully small. Ended up eyeballing it anyway. Who has time for that? Got flour everywhere once, huge mess.
Finally Step 7: Sleep more. Aim for 7-8 hours. Sounds easy? Nah. Tried going to bed early. Laid there wide awake stressing about work and my growling stomach. Woke up feeling more tired than before most days.
So… Did I Drop Pounds?
After a wild, hangry, waterlogged, sleep-deprived two weeks? Maybe dropped like 3 pounds. But let’s be real:
- Hunger headaches for days? Check.
- Nearly ruined my blender trying to make a stupid green “protein smoothie”? Check.
- Almost started a fire in my apartment when I forgot I was “toasting” some dry chicken because it was too bland? Almost.
- Ate half a block of cheese straight from the fridge at 11 PM on day 9? Absolutely.
Was it quick? Faster than nothing, I guess. “Easy”? Oh hell no. Every “simple” step felt like a fight. Mostly against myself. And the sheer annoyance of constantly thinking about rules. Ended up ditching the after-7 rule and the constant water chugging. Just drank water normally, tried to eat less junk, walked a bit more. Actually stuck with that. Slower? Yeah. Saner? Absolutely.
Would I call those “7 Easy Steps” truthful? Nah. They got me started, sure. But “easy” feels like a dirty lie. It was work. Grumpy, uncomfortable work. Real weight loss? Still feels like it needs way more than just a listicle hack.
